Kindness

Kindness is one of the Fruit of the Spirit precisely because it doesn’t come naturally.  What Paul is talking about, though, is not something that is ‘natural’ but something that is ‘spiritual.’  Kindness grows because of the Spirit within us.  Yet, it can be cultivated.   If we make it a habit to act kindly, slowly kindness will become grafted into our very character.

But, what is kindness?  It seems that the nature of kindness is to care for someone else more than you do yourself in a given situation.  In other words, kindness sounds a lot like what Jesus meant when he said we should do for others what we would want them to do for us.  This means kindness is more than a nice thought, or a generous attitude towards someone.  Kindness hinges on doing something for someone.  Kindness goes beyond duty.  It means doing something not because you ‘have to’ but because you ‘choose to.’  Kindness also goes beyond hoping for some sort of ‘pay back.’  Kindness usually costs something and doesn’t expect any sort of recompense.

Most of us are raised in family’s and in a culture that values kindness.  We want our children to be kind. We prefer friends who are kind.  We admire people who are kind-hearted.  We also read about a God in scripture who is kind (ie. Isaiah 63.7).  Consequently, Scripture teaches us that as God is kind, so we should be kind (ie. Jeremiah 9.23-24).

So then, why do we frequently fail at being kind?  We might consider ourselves ‘kindly’ sort of people, yet there are many occasions when we don’t show kindness to a person when we could.  And even if no one notices, we feel guilty inside.  Why does this happen?

If I were to guess, I would say that the biggest reason why most of us struggle to be kind is because to do so would be an interruption to our life.  We have work to do, places to go and people to see.  The spontaneous moment to show kindness flairs up, and in a blink, it is gone.  The opportunity is there and gone.  We didn’t do anything wrong or harm anyone, but there was a kindness we could have done and didn’t.

A theologian I read recently noted that nearly all the things Jesus did or said in the gospels happened when he was interrupted.  Jesus was eating, or on a journey, or talking to someone and in the middle of his places to go, people to see and work to do and someone would interrupt him.  And Jesus, never in a hurry, let the interruption stand.  There was the woman bleeding who interrupted Jesus on his way to a medical emergency.  And the time children who swarmed Jesus as he was with his disciples.  There was the man lowered through the roof onto his lap while he was teaching.  There was the woman who washed his feet while he was eating a meal.  Again and again, Jesus was interrupted and took the time to show someone kindness.

If we want to be like Jesus, a fine place to start might be letting people in need of kindness interrupt our life.  Theologian Chris Wright wonders, “what if we begin each day with two questions in our minds: what would I do for people if I were Christ? & what would I do for people if they were Christ?”